SHINY T TUESDAY - PINK PRINT AND AN EXCITING IDEA!

This week I wanted to share another item from that epic charity shop visit I told you all about here. This is the pink print that jumped off the rail, threw its patterned arms around my neck and whispered into my ear, 'I love you, please take me home and let's be together for life'.

Do patterns speak to you like that? They do me! I swear they have voices!

So this chatty pink beauty now lives with me and although I am sure she spruces up fancy, I have enjoyed wearing her with my casual, everyday normal of ripped jeans and boots. 

She whispered again, 'Let's go frolicking through nature, just you and me (oh and your loud kids...but just make sure you crop them off the pictures, oh and that husband of yours who may just be coerced into taking a few shots of us together)' Who am I to resist the requests of my new pink patterned friend...so we went frolicking.

Yes she is a chatty one for sure, her favourite words are 'Choose me! Choose me!' which she sings every morning. I have to resist her to ensure other patterns get a chance to sing, but she has such an alluring voice she is getting more than her fair share of outings.

What about you...do you have a pattern that speaks louder than others?

OH MY GOODNESS...LITERALLY AS I SIT HERE TYPING I HAVE HAD AN IDEA! I've not pondered over it, it's just appeared right now and I LIKE IT! Does anybody want to play along with a SHINY T TUESDAY fashion linky? One where I set up a weekly fashion prompt!

 How about next Tuesday?

How about the prompt...'WHEN PATTERNS SPEAK'

Who wants to pLay along? I would love to see the prints you wear that speak to you. Come back next Tuesday and link up to show me and spread the word there's a new weekly linky in town!

LEAVE A COMMENT TO LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THE IDEA AND THINK YOU WILL PLAY! If I get enough interest I may even make a little badge and do it like a grown up. x

All my love from Shiny T Tuesday...permission to polish granted.

This post linked to Patti for Visible Monday and Mingle Monday.

GIFTED AND THRIFTED

The theme for this week's 'Nature In The Home' series was 'a gift'. I guffawed, (yes for real...coffee even squirted out of my nose!) ....and when I was done with the guffawing and the squirting I picked up the blogging stick I sometimes like to beat myself with...you know the one...the one that says... 'OY LAME ASS, I bet other women with those beautiful and perfect lives have 'gifts' to post about, not you though, your life is so crappy/ untidy/ un-stylish/ out of focus/ boring/ ordinary'...the list is long, I won't bore you!  Yeah I know, it's tragically sad that I can turn my blog, my favourite little place in blog-world into such a drama and all of my other favourite little places I love to visit into little beating-sticks to thrash myself with! As if I need any more emotional thrashing, after all I have 3 kids for that! 

So I resigned myself to missing a week of posting about nature and oh what a drama I mentally made of that decision! But within all the sad, stooped-shoulder plodding around my home, waiving queries of 'what's up with you' with whimpers of 'Oh nothing...don't worry about gift-less me' I began to spot things! And by things I mean good things, things like....drum roll... GIFTS!!!! It's been quite an eye opener. How could my initial perception of my world be 'it's gift-less', when a clearer look at reality is exactly the opposite...just look at this...this is just one week...

At the beginning of the week Tilly had her annual school review and so I travelled to the town where her school is and also my favourite charity shop! After meetings where tears were shed, (yes I am that mum who cried with pride, cringe!) I simply had to pop in to my op-shop-fave to spot goodies...and look what I found, a beautiful jug adorned with a flower garden. Flowers right there on this gift to myself (YEAH, A GIFT TO MYSELF.... IT COUNTS...OK!) So I raced home and filled this new beauty with buttercups, the perfect gift of sunshine yellow...to myself.

Then a couple of days later a package arrived, a purchase from eBay that I simply could not resist! I tore it open like a lion at a rump steak! Will you just look at the reason for my parcel carnage...oooo I love her, my newly acquired vintage tin table...I adore  adore adore her! More flowers for my home, this time painted onto tin, another gift to myself! (STOP SNIGGERING IN THE BACK...IT STILL COUNTS...OK!)

Then just a few days after the tin- table's arrival, purple carnations graced her top, sitting proud in a polka dot tin mug. These flowers, a gift from a dear friend as a thank you for baby sitting this week. Look for real...real live, not brought by myself, 'gifted flowers'!

Then walks to the meadow have seen my little boy offering up flowers on a daily basis! I searched the car boot last weekend for a little vase to hold these tiny gifts and I found this cutie for 10p. It got filled with daisies, these teeny tiny flower posies more precious and gorgeous than anything you could spend big money on in fancy florists!

I added the most gorgeous flower card (part of my babysitting thank you gift) because it matched my teeny tiny new vase and daisies so perfectly. GIFTS AND GIFTS AND THEN MORE GIFTS!

Then as a final flourish to my gifted and thrifted week, whilst digging in the garden for days on end, whilst also moving 4 tonnes of top-soil (seriously it's almost all Iv'e done for a week!) I unearthed an old and teeny weeny bottle in the mud! It is so beautiful! Poppy immediately wanted it and she relentlessly badgered at me like a relentless badgery thing until I gave in and let her have it! She was so happy and although it's terribly sad, I have to admit I hid in the bathroom and cried because I wanted it as well...oh my goodness, I sound like a 3 year old, but it's true! 

After a snivel I dabbed eyes dry and then managed to strike a deal with my bottle-treasure stealing daughter...I told her she could have it but couldn't keep it in her room, she had to keep it in my china cabinet (actually I told her if she put flowers in her bedroom they would take all the oxygen out of her air and suffocate her in her sleep so she better be really careful and let me look after the bottle...is that bad?) Anyway... she filled the prized teeny weeny bottle with wild-flower finds from the garden and gave them to me as a thank you ( a thank you for saving her life and agreeing to look after the bottle with all of my things!) I snapped a picture of her offering next to the daises....wow what a week of gifts this gift-less life turned out to hold!

So from tin, ceramic and paper flowers, to wild-flowers and carnations and even gifts from the earth, this week has seriously been full of the gifted and the thrifted bringing nature into my home. And to think this post began with a woe is me dance! Now girls, don't go turning my post into a stick to beat yourselves up with...I know this awesomeness could possibly be stick shaped... and I know you all wanna piece of my daisy action...but don't do it! 

Joining in with the beautiful Lou over at LITTLE GREEN SHED for her Nature in the Home series. 

And the gorgeous Max over at Blackbird Has Spoken for her Op Shop Show off.

Go check them both out if you haven't...they are both awesome! xxx

Also linking with The Nifty Thrifty at A Living Space, Coastal Charm, Remnant and Ta-dah Tuesday .

STILLS WITHIN CHAOS - A WEEKLY COLLECTION

1- SUMMER

The school summer-fair brought the circus to town and as the kids laughed and ate ice-cream it really did begin to feel like the holiday season is nearly here!

2- DANCE

Busby dancing on the new bank I have been putting in the garden this week! He had me in stitches, he is such a funny little thing, not to mention great at digging and helping Mummy shift 4 ton of soil!

3- LAUGHTER

The sun has shone in amongst rain and when it has the kids have begged to play under the hose. Mummy happily obliged spraying their screaming bodies with icy water whilst shrieking with laughter like a wild banshee! Tilly soon got fed up of all that cold water though and insisted on taking over as the rain queen, whilst also shrieking like a banshee with laughter....don't know where she gets it from!

4- HELPER

My little man on top of the 4 ton pile of soil on our driveway. He has spent all week helping Mummy with her crazy gardening schemes. Erm this may take some time Mum.

5- WATER

My beautiful girls enjoying hose-pipe soaking on a sunny day.

Joining in with The Stills Project...go and say hi to the beautiful Emily over at The Beetle Shack for this weekly series. Also linking with Scavenger Sunday. Have a fabulous week everybody. xxxx

IT'S NEVER JUST BLACK AND WHITE

Life had been tough for some time when Tilly was first diagnosed with Smith Magenis Syndrome at 2 and half years old. I was in my 30th month straight of no sleep, I had had another baby in amongst this, lost my dad to cancer and two friends also. Sleep deprivation was causing me to have daytime hallucinations that had me questioning the reality before my own eyes and doctors had diagnosed me with extreme exhaustion. Yes things were tough and we haven't even begun to discuss parenting a child with, at this time, non-stop, extreme, self-harming behaviours.

I was clinging on but losing my mind within the clinging. This will pass, the motto quoted in baby manuals, became my sanity-life-raft, as I looked ahead to escaping the no-sleep, terrible-twos stage. And then out of the blue a doctor called and told me this was no phase...this would not pass...my beautiful baby had Smith Magenis Syndrome and this was forever! I have said it before but I need to say it again....I broke!

People rallied round and told me to take one day at a time. Little did they know these words sounded like dirt landing on my coffin lid. TAKE. ONE. DAY.AT. A. TIME...I had only coped this far by looking ahead and waiting for the next phase...now these words confirmed the next phase wasn't coming. I was stuck in this one day at a time like some sleep deprived, nightmarish, ground-hog day! 

I fell into a deep dark place, doctors told me it was a reactive depression and it was bad, very very bad and very very black.

I tried therapy and it was simply awful and then I tried pills and they just made me so tired I was incapable of living and so in the end I simply had to fight my way out. My kids saved me. My kids were the light at the end of the tunnel that I fought my way out for.

So now I am clear of the depression and into the light...it's not black but white now! Well wouldn't that just be a fairy tale! No life is never just black and white, let's face it, grey comes in many shades and tones.

Depression is a tough nut to crack... it remains. It will always stay I am realising that now. Some days it's right there in my face and other times it seems to be gone and forgotten. But depression is a beast to be ever-watchful for. I guard against it and brace when I feel it coming. I try to keep my mouth shut when in its grips, I try to get out and breathe fresh air, I try to run and find nature and colour and light, I try to find things to make me feel, as often it shuts me down till I feel nothing.  It's often only a whisper or a fleeting shadow, hardly perceptible, but I know it's there and the thought of falling so deeply under its grip again has me fearful... clawing out two escape routes would be a hard gig!

Life 'after' depression for me isn't a life cured it feels more like a life learning to judge the distance of the beast, learning to dodge the talons and outrun the charge. It's a never ending game that could paint the world grey if I let it...I prefer rainbows instead though, so I aim higher for colour.

Today I join in with the black and white party here, dressing up in black and white to make my point. I post in honour of all people living with ongoing illness/sickness/ conditions...call it what you will. In honour of all of you out there suffering with mental health issues (ssshhhh we mustn't tell.....ooops just did!) and also in honour of my beautiful daughter Tilly who has Smith Magenis Syndrome (yes I know not an illness, she is just perfect) and all the other beautiful souls with her syndrome who have countless challenges as their starting point for each and every day and yet still bring magic! We all need to be kinder to each other...life is a tough bitch to ride and it really is NEVER JUST BLACK AND WHITE!

This post also linked to Patti for Visible Monday and Mingle Monday.

24/52

TO THE MEADOW.

All of these portraits were taken on family adventures to the meadow this week. An adventure that has varying facets that compliment each other to make a simple but great day together.

1- Firstly the play park, always our first stop. Swinging high and free, scaling climbing-frames unaided as Mummy watches on in amazement at the independence of her babies. (Poppy so happy she can now swing alone, flying high up in the clouds)

2- Then there is the walk along flower strewn paths into a wilder place where nature rules. A place where flowers are offered up as tokens of love. (Busby with a sweet little gift for Mummy)

3- We cross our 'pooh-sticks bridge', searching for fallen twigs to race in the water beneath. Yells of mine mine and the laughter at the stragglers fill the air. (Tilly laughing and dancing with joy after a game of pooh-sticks)

4- Finally we arrive in the billowing grass of the meadow. With picnic blanket spread and hungry hands reaching for sandwiches we fend away our food-stealing dog who watches every mouthful with a naughty gleam behind her eyes. (Maisy in the meadow just seconds before she snatched a sandwich right out of Busby's hands!)


My favourites of last week were the utterly adorable and iconic shots taken at key west, I love the light, the shapes, the colours...just everything really! And how about this for another iconic shot of popsicle carnage! Also Gus and his watermelon joy here x

Joining in with Jodi over at Che and Fidel for the 52 project. A portrait a week of my children for a year.

RUNNING THE WEEK - SOME COLOURS OF THE RUN

Running has brought colour to my life. Every run offers up something new. From the black of early morning and late night to the blue skies of blistering hot runs. The green and yellow of Spring and the pink and white of blossom now sadly absent. From sunset to sundown, the palette of my runs is a wondrous spectacle just outside the door.

Total mileage: 11.5 miles

IN THE GARDEN - AFTER THE RAIN

As a novice gardener enjoying the adventure of making my first garden, the weather has certainly had me in a tizzy. Firstly the freaky long winter, cutting growing seasons short and sending snow blizzards into a freezing spring. Then the heat, burning and relentless, interspersed with icy winds and lashing rain! The skies above my garden have been wild and changeable and have turned novice gardening into an extreme sport!

I look around my garden and I wonder where I am? Are my plants OK, miles behind the growing race or is all as it should be? I have no frame of reference as the newbie I am, but as I run and peer over hedges and fences into the gardens of others there seems to be more growth and more colour elsewhere. I have been worried, loosing faith that anything will appear.

A few weeks ago torrential rain didn't let up for days on end. After the blistering heat of a sunny weekend it was a shock to the system but within the rain the garden changed. Afterwards everything looked different.

Daisies became giants and hydrangea got lost behind them. I can see that plants will need moving next year. These daisies are suddenly awash with buds teasing me with the promise of flowers. So to the lavatera, these also grown too big for their space and dripping in the promise of blooms. Oh please hurry up, I so want to see flowers!

The hostas and ferns are loving it, in fact I have lost one hosta under the huge fern, it's grown so big this year! 

Tulips are now finished, the rain washing away the final petals whilst bamboo shoots appear daily with relentless domination. Buttercups this year are prolific, I see it in the meadows where I run and the buttercups I left in the garden because I loved the leaf shapes went wild and rampant, needing some drastic action...who would have thought buttercups could be quite so bossy and challenging.

And so there is life and growth every where I look but still I have to hold onto faith for the next season to come. For the flowers and the colour and the vegetables I so long for. It's easy to think nothing will appear when you are so new to all of this and don't really know what you are doing. At the moment it would seem that the most colourful part of my garden is the washing line and even that is rain soaked.

Is this normal? Is this lack of faith a common gardening folly? Is it the natural order of the gardener's year to begin to think there is a magic potion you forgot to pour or a special chant you forgot to whisper over soil?